Happy Cino De May0!!!

I know that means something but I never did figure it out. I think it's just an excuse to go out and drink and celebrate!! Happy birthday to my friend Diane!!

Billy and I were going to go out tonight. A lodge buddy of his helps to manage a bar and they were having a celebration. We were going to go after dinner, have a couple of drinks and be home in plenty of time to put the kids in bed. We aren't going now! Billy is sick again!!

He seemed fine on Monday, complained about his sinuses bugging him on Tuesday and by yesterday afternoon he had called and made a dr's appt. I was shocked, normally he wanders around for days before going so the fact he went meant he was feeling bad. He has an ear/throat infection along with a pretty nasty case of bronchitis. He came home with a couple of prescriptions and went to bed early. I'm beginning to wonder if I don't need to maybe burn down my house or get an exorcism here with all the illness we've passed around since Jan. I think I"m a reasonable housekeeper but we still seem to be getting sick. I guess it does make sense since we now have 2 kids in school, and DH went from a job where he was in contact with maybe 8-10 people a day(if that) to an office of over a 100 people. With all that contact with community phones, computers, pens and the like I guess it's no surprise we are passing things back and forth.

I'm hoping he will feel better by this weekend so I won't feel too guilty about going with my friends on Saturday. I eeked a little extra money out of our regular budget as well as telling him to skip a Mother's Day gift and give me CASH instead.

I don't want to be too hopeful but I think there may be a bit of a thawing in our relationship. I have been pretty quiet about how things had been going but they were bad, and scary. Divorce was not something I had ever considered but I couldn't help wondering if that may of been where we were headed. I would say out of 17 years being together all but 3 have been really good. The las t 18 months or so have been bad, and declining steadily. I didn't think it could get much lower. The only thing keeping me going was the belief that he wouldn't just abandon me and the kids and leave me to fend for myself but I didn't like the idea of him being around out of obligation either

The last month or so has been a bit of a thaw. I've seen little glimmers of the old husband I loved. We've started to go out more, we've started to talk a bit more. Monday was the most encouragement yet. I was little tipsy when we came home from doing the lodges mailing and he was joking and teasing me like the old days. We went to sleep laughing and holding hands(a rarity now a days). He left me a message while I was shopping that said he "enjoyed laughing with me and had missed that" Hey, he missed me!! Do I think everything is great now? Hardly but I'll take it!!