I just don't get the sibling thing!

I often feel at a loss as a parent, especially boys. As a girl there are "guy" things I just don't get. I was prepared for that, what I wasn't prepared for is the "sibling rivalry".

I have a sister but she is nearly 10 years older than I was. We never fought over toys or clothes or attention. When I was starting school, she was starting dating, when I started high school, she was getting married, etc. I think the age span really contributed to why we don't get along as adults, we just don't have anything in common and are always at vastly different points in our lives. I wanted to avoid that when I had kids, hence, my boys are close in age(a little over 2 years apart).

I just don't get some of the things they fight over. It seems so silly to me. Lately the big fight has been over who gets dressed first in the morning. Why is it important? You are both leaving at the same time, going to the same bus, to the same school, Why does it matter? To avoid this fight I started assigning days, like on M, W, F G gets dressed first, the other days D does. This worked for awhile until D decided that on "his" days he's going to take an unusually long time to eat, which in turns upset G, and the more upset G gets, the happier it seems to make D. This morning it just all came to a head. The boys both woke up in really cranky moods and it was what seemed like non stop whinning and sniping at each other over this issue. Thankfully DH was still home(a rare morning lately where he is not out the door before we are up) and he stepped in. He can say the exact same thing I do, but instead of being ignored, they listened. Everyone straightened up and got dressed and out the door.

I'm also amazed at some of the behaviors I'm seeing out of D at his tender age of 9. He doesn't listen, talks back, slams doors, and has a general not so great attitude. All of these things I was expecting as a teenager, not as a 9 year old. A parent at the bus stop said maybe he will out grow it now, and maybe be a model teenager. I doubt it but I can hope!!

I'm sure eventually they will learn to get along but for now I'm often left scratching my head. DH has two older siblings, a brother 5 years older and a sister 18 months older so he can decipher some of the issues for me. I'm really grateful for that.