Credit card debt-an object lesson

About a year before I stopped working to stay home with Donovan, I got a credit card, in my name only. I did it for a couple of reasons: I wanted credit of my own just in case, and it gave me a sense of freedom. In all this time I've never been late on a payment and not a single payment has been for the minimum amount only.

Now I will admit at times to using it frivolously and they played along by slowly but surely upping my limit. Next thing you know balance is more than I would like. About a year ago I put the card away, never to used it, and I haven't. I continued to pay it, trying to whittle it down but as money got tighter, payments got smaller, and it seemed like it never went down.

Last October when the company Billy worked for went out of business I really feared we would be in big trouble. Thankfully he went back to work right away and we only stumbled a little. I still managed my payments but they were much, much harder to make.

This time around when Billy was laid off I knew there was *no* way I could keep the payments up. It just wasn't possible, not with $327 a week unemployment, 4 mouths to feed, and a mortgage. I called them that day. Asked if there was something we could work out, maybe defer a couple of payment, break them up to smaller chunks, something, anything. I mean really doesn't nearly a decade of on time payments mean anything? Nope, not a thing. Every unemployment check Billy got, I sent something to them. Sometimes it was as little as $5 but I had believed if you show and effort it would count in your favor.

This went on all summer long. They'd call, I'd explain. Both of us desperately looking for work and trying to keep things going. We decided early on to try to preserve Dh's credit as best as possible. He's the main wage earner, has the best marketable skills, and a decade of experience. Employer's look at credit ratings now a days. We also hope to sell our house and move in the next few years so we wanted his rating to look the best since it's going to be his earnings that will secure the loan. I thought it was sound thinking.

Something had to give and it turned out to my credit card. For the most part I have to say everyone I spoke too, with the exception of two, have been more than nice and understanding. They could be a lot meaner about it and I've been nothing but honest with them and upfront, from day one.

As the summer has progressed the calls have of course become much more frequent. In the last 4 weeks they are basically calling every other day(M,W,F), won't leave a message on the machine and will call all throughout the day until a "human" answers. If Billy takes a message and I don't call them back within 24 hours they are back calling so ducking the calls or letting them go to the answering machine does no good. The calls continue.

Finally on Friday I was given a number of the "special collections" department( I'm still perplexed while it took an entire summer to even be told I had another option. The rep told me maybe it was because it was noted on my account I was in a hurry the last time they called and I hung up abruptly. Yeah, I had to get my kids off the bus. If I wasn't there to get Ds #2 off the bus, they won't let him off, send him back to school, I get charged for a day of latchkey care and walk 1 1/2 miles to the school to retrieve him since DH wouldn't be home until after 6pm). I guess this rep finally realized that financially I really *don't* have it and this isn't just a case of someone trying to duck the bill. She made it sound like they had more control over making payment agreements because up to this point the only payment agreements I was given were well beyond our reach. I had hoped now with a weekly paycheck we could pay small chunks of it weekly.

I called the special collections office. After 20 frustrating minutes I hung up in tears. They offered me the same deal, a huge payment, that can only be paid once a month, that I have to have automatically deducted from my checking account, and only on the day the specify. When I explained that a weekly chunk is better and that that big of a payment at the beginning of the month was going to coincide with our mortgage payment I was told too bad. It is now noted on my account that I "won't" enter into a payment agreement. They never once asked what our monthly income is now, or what or mortgage payment is, or anything. It's X amount of dollars or else.

They also informed me regardless of a payment agreement or not I have to pay a certain amount of money by 10/6. This will only hold by account briefly at what they consider 2mths past due. Even if I'm a dollar short of that amount I move on to the next phase of collection and days will continue to rack up until I'm turned over to outside collections at the 6mth mark. That doesn't mean 6mths without any kind of payment but without enough of a payment.

I think the thing that was the most frustrating is she made it seem like the effort that I had made up to that point meant nothing. They also made it seem like a good history up to that point meant nothing. They made me feel like a complete deadbeat even when I was on the phone saying I can pay you this, every week, from now until I die. She also talked about how much over my limit I am now, like I went out and charged a bunch of stuff on the card when in reality it's all fees, overage charges etc. The card hadn't been used in forever!!! I feel like every day I owe them more than last and I'm afraid I'm never going to get out from under it...

I just don't know what to do. I spoke with my BIL who a couple of years ago lost his house and filed bankruptcy and he assured me I have awhile before they sue me for anything. He said that maybe outside collections might be a good thing for me. They are normally more willing to make deals, some and maybe by then we will be in better shape. He was also not sure what exactly they could do to me in the long run anyways. I have no income, I don't own a car anymore(and the one I did own was a 20 year old jeep worth about $500). I have a checking account but right now the balance is $7.83. The high balance for the month was $57.83 but I sent $50 to them.

A friend suggested credit counseling but at this point I'm hesitant to do that. I don't want to "wreck" both credit ratings for the same reason stated above. We only have a couple of other credit cards, one is closed, two have balances but they are not to bad, and both cards are for emergencies(one is for Home Depot, the other Costco). What is really killing us is the cost of living is going up daily while our income hasn't really. And honestly I think it would be hard for *anyone* to take a 30% pay cut for awhile. Within a year he should be back up there but we need to hang on until then.

The phone rang at 8:15am, guess who? My credit card company. I hung up, and turned the ringer off the phone. I have nothing more I can say to them.