Sarah527 Blog

The life of a single mom of two boys as she explores new ideas, new thoughts, and a new career.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Another cold sore

My body continues to send me messages that I really need to stop worrying so much and *relax*. I woke up yesterday with a little tingle on my lip and by bedtime it was a full blown cold sore. At least this time it's on my bottom lip instead of my top one so it's different. This will be my third one in just a couple of months. I'm prone to them, but I've never had this many in a row. Throw in the UTI's that I've had in the last 6mths(again I'm prone to them but never had this many, in such a short amount of time) and I think my body is telling me something. I'm trying to chill, I really am, but sometimes it's really hard.

With every back on schedule I've gotten back in my normal routine, which means more stitching. For some reason I don't like to stitch when both boys are around or when Dh is home. No one would mind, but I feel like if we are all here and at home, we should be doing things together. Last week while they were on spring break I worked on cleaning out some closets and drawers and also got some summer stuff out(which is why we had a frosty night last night, I have the shorts out, ready to wear, so it gets cold). I stitched for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon. I finished off another color on Forest Goddess's cape. There is a lot of green in there and I'm almost done with them all. Just a couple more colors but they are more of highlights and shadings so hopefully they will move quickly.

I've also been watching way too much TV lately. Of course all the shows are new and building up to the season finales. Last night was Gilmore Girls. I discovered this show last year in reruns and have been hooked ever since. I was sad to read the other day that the shows creator and writer/producer were leaving. I wondered what it would mean for the so called "last" season of the show next year. Upon further reflection I wasn't so sad. I'm not thrilled with the way the show is progressing this year. I like Luke and Lorelai together and I don't like how they "inserted" his long lost daughter or how he handled it. I don't like Rory with Logan, especially with as badly as he treats her. Rory is *smart* and I don't think she would/should continue with him. Maybe a fresh eye and fresh writers can wrap things up nicely next year. We shall see.

I also watched "House" last night. Again I'm pretty new to this show because I used to watch Supernatural after GG but they moved that show to Thursday. On one hand I like House, the characters are interesting, they exchanges are funny but the cases in between there kind of boring. You know it's never going to be the 1st thing they test for or the 20th, it's always going to be discovered in the last 5 minutes and a lot of the times I wish they would just cut to the chase. Given the choices on Tuesday though, it's not bad. I can't help wondering about all the tests they can do on the human body and all the different diseases there are out there or all the things that can go wrong. It also makes you wonder about real life, and how much of real medicine and doctors are just guessing. Kind of scary and mind boggling at the same time.

It's going to be a light week around here. The arena that DH plays hockey at also has a semi-pro team, The Mechanics, that play there. The Mechanics have made it into the play offs so they have had to move and shuffle the amateur league games around. DH won't have clinic on Friday or a game on Saturday. Nest week though they will be back to the normal routine. Still they have only 2 regular games until play offs for them so the season is almost done.

Monday, April 24, 2006

I'm here!!

I'm still around, just busy with my boys. Last week was Spring Break. One of the things I love about Easter in April is that usually have really great weather for spring break(unlike in March when it's really hit or miss). We were blessed with glorious spring weather, warm, sunny and mild, just about every day they were off. It was great to throw open all the windows and play out in the grass. The boys took full advantage of the weather and were outside, every day, just about all day. Because of that my computer time was severely limited. I think the break was good.

I also spent a couple of days helping my SIL move into her new house. I'm happy that she has moved much closer to her family and is looking to get back custody of her boys, or at least more visitation. It took her a couple of years after her divorce to find her way again. She acted like a teenager for awhile and wasn't really a part of her kids life but now she seems to be fixing that. The house is the first step. It's in her kids school district, less than two blocks from both sets of grandparents, and a cute little house. I was utterly exhusted though after 2 days of moving. On Thursday I don't think I moved from the couch at all! The boys were thrilled to play with their cousins. It also reminded me I really don't want to have to move anytime soon.

Today everyone was back on schedule and off to school. I was kind of at loose ends and trying to figure out what to do with myself this afternoon. Still the quiet was a nice break from last week. We are in the home stretch now with about 7 weeks until school lets out for the summer.

The only dark cloud on the whole thing continues to be finances. My CC is now calling my cellphone, daily and often, leaving not so nice messages. At the moment I've been told to just ignore them, which I've been doing, but still being reminded, pretty much hourly, that you owe money is a bit of a drag. I'm not saying they don't have a point, I do owe them, do want to pay them but their last response was to threaten, demean, lie, and hang up on me, it's no wonder I'm in no hurry to talk to them. We are still getting the last of the paperwork we need for the lawyer(5 years of tax returns and pay stubs) and we still need to tackle the pesky problem of how to pay for it all too.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Happy Spring Break!!

My boys are off on spring break this week. Thankfully the weather has been nice and they have been getting out to play an awful lot. The Easter Bunny was smart and brought them a basketball and a soccer ball so they have things to keep them entertained while they are out there. Later today we are going to my MIL house who will have my 3 nephews there for the day so all the kids can play together.

The weekend was good. We met with the professional early Saturday afternoon. It wasn't so terrible. He's a nice guy and walked us through the steps of what we need to do. I'm just thankful we have options but it still not something we really want to do but frankly, we are out of options I'm not sure how many people could survive a 20% cut in pay, really. Even with a bigger emergency fund, it only would of kept us going a little longer.

I had something to look forward to so it made the appointment a bit easier. Dh's hockey game on Saturday night was a relatively early one, 9:25pm, and with the boys on spring break we all went. All I can say is WOW!! His skating has really come a long way. They looked and sounded like a real hockey team. They ended in a 4-4 tie but it was a pretty exciting game. The boys had a blast too.

Sunday we went to my MIL's house for dinner. We had a turkey with all the trimmings and boy was it yummy. It was nice to see my SIL who I don't see often because she lives so far away. That's going to change to because she just bought a house about a 2 blocks from my MIL. I'm looking forward to having her closer and we will probably go and help with the move on Wednesday and Thursday.

All in all things aren't great, but they are doing better, and I'm looking forward to hopefully by summer to be in a better place. Until then, I'm trying to not worry so much, relax more, and just take things as they come. I'm not always successful, like this morning I was awake at 5am, but I'm getting there. Talking to the professional did make it somewhat better and made it a lot less personal. Dh keeps reminding me to most everyone else these are just numbers on a page, it's only really "personal" to us. I just have to remember what it was like this time last year with DH having chest pains, working all those weird hours, and really unhappy. We may be worse financially but in some ways we are a whole lot happier and I'm trying to stay focused on that.

I'm also happy that we are all over the Pink Eye and we all did the last of our eye drops last night. Hopefully we won't get that again cause that was a pain!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My eyes are still killing me!

I had hoped with a full day of antibiotic eye drops in us yesterday, we would all wake up feeling pretty good. That was not the case. D and I seem to have gotten the worse of the Pink Eye and both of us are still pretty uncomfortable. He was complaining of them still burning, itchy, and not feeling well. Along with the pink eye we all have a lovely cold and D sounded pretty stuffed up this morning. I decided to keep him home another day. I know he's only missed 6 days total but it seems like a lot since it's been clustered so close together. The only reason I kept him home another day is because I know how bad he feels because my eyes feel the same. They are so uncomfortable and the eye drops are just a killer on top of irritated eyes. I"m hoping by later it will be better.

I'm also feeling really tired today. For some reason I can't seem to sleep past 4:3oam or so. This means I'm falling asleep earlier and earlier, last night I was asleep by 9:30pm, and awake today at 4:15am. I need to get my sleep pattern on a better schedule. Even making it to 5am would be nice or 5:30am, but 4am just seems to early. Of course all I can do then is just lay there and fret and by the time it's time to get up for the day, I'm in a horrible mood.

I'm hoping things improve this weekend. We got the name of a professional and DH called him yesterday. We meet with him on Saturday afternoon. I'm hoping this is the right thing to do, because frankly we have to do something. We can just keep floating and hoping something will change, cause it's not. Dh is still looking for another job but matching his old income, is hard, and I would be hard pressed to find a job to make up the difference. It's just a vicious cycle. I'm hoping that we can get some answers and I'm hoping like heck we have options. All I keep hearing about is the new laws and how they changed things, but no one is quite sure how.

I'm also hoping I can maintain some kind of composure and not become a big bawling mess on Saturday. It would not be productive and make it hard to accomplish anything. I'm planning on letting DH do all the talking and I have to keep reminding myself that this guy has seen all kinds of cases, probably people in worse shape than us, probably people who made much worse choices than us.

Today, my goal, it to try to put aside the worry, try to relax, get some stitching done, and just relax. I'm exhausted and it's not helping anything to worry so much....that and trying not to gouge out my eyes from them itching/burning so dang much!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

GRRR...More illness!!!

We cannot seem to get well and stay well. I was hoping we could make it until spring break where we could all get a chance to recoup and the kids can get away from the petri dish that is the school. No, such luck.

We've all been fighting a bit of a cold. I had a bit of a sore throat with mine but it wasn't horrible. D was complaining of the same thing over the weekend but none of us had fevers and most of the symptoms were relieved by motrin/decongestant.

Last night I was sitting with my kitty on my lap. I'm allergic to kitties so when my eye started to itch I didn't think too much about it right away. I had just taken something for my sinuses so I figured it would stop in a few minutes when that kicked in. It continued to itch, even after changing my shirt, washing my face and hands. It bugged me a lot but I went to bed early and thought I would be ok in the morning.

First thing this morning I realized I couldn't open that eye and now not only did it still itch horribly, it hurt too, a lot, like a pin being driven into it. I got up, looked at in the bathroom and recognized the signs. I had pink eye!! Now, I had pink eye last year. I got it from the boys, who both had it. It's very contagious and I figured if I had it, everyone would. Sure enough, D got up and had the same thing, DH got up same thing, G his eyes weren't' as bad but I knew it was only a matter of time.

Last time D had pink eye my dr just automatically wrote a prescription to treat the whole house because of how contagious it is. I had some left from that time, it was still good, but not nearly enough to treat all 4 of us for a week. So we had to make a trip to the dr's. Since D seemed the worse, and had missed the most days of school, I figured we would take him and then ask about a big prescription for the whole family. DH amazingly took the day off of work. He has *never* in 17 years of marriage ever called up his employer and said "I won't be in". I think he is learning that you can't work all the dang time and he found an article online that explained how contagious it was. He touches a lot of computers during the day and I told him he could infect the whole office by the end of the day and everyone would hate him. He came to the dr's with us too.

My dr is such a great guy, I just love him. He has great bedside manners and is great with the boys. He checked D over and he's fine, just a cold but he did indeed have a wicked case of Pink Eye, as do I, as does DH. He gave us prescription for both the eye drops and an ointment for D's eyes at night. He also gave me a sample so between the new stuff, the stuff I had at home, and the sample we should have more than enough to treat us all for the required 7 days. The boys and DH can go back to work/school tomorrow and we even have a dr's note for that.

We filled the prescription for the eye drops but the two pharmacies we went too, neither had the ointment and would have to order it. It could take as long as 5 days for it to come in and by then, D would be better so we skipped that. The eye drops were very reasonable and once again they took a percentage off the office visit since we have no insurance, so it was manageable.

It's frustrating. All winter long we've dodged getting seriously sick and to be taken down, right before spring break, by pink eye. At the moment we are all red eyed, squinty, and headachy but not to bad. Now I know why the kids really fought the eye drops because they HURT for the first few days.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

April's ornament is finished:

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This is a freebie for Rainbow Gallery designed by Erica Michaels. I was able to buy it kitted up at stitching show a few years ago so it's done in all the recommended threads. You can't tell but it is also sprinkled with beads all around for a snowy effect. It came with beads but they were mill hill so I pulled some Delica's from my stash that someone had sent me awhile a go. They were perfect on it and added a nice touch.

G really loved this ornament for some reason. He really likes the feel of the cashmere thread and kept petting the deer. He also insisted I make the nose red, like Rudolph, and I think he has claimed it as his own:

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Things have been quiet the last couple of days. I haven't heard from the collection agency at all. I've gotten nothing in the mail from either them or my CC company telling me my debt has been sent to them. I thought they would have to do some kind of maybe the quiet is good.

No process server either which the agency said was coming "any day" now. I did have a guy come to my door yesterday selling windows and my first inclination was to run and hide in the basement and not answer the door but that wouldn't accomplish anything. I was glad it was as salesman though.

We are just trying to find a lawyer at this point and make an appt. Unfortunately they are so busy at Dh's office right now he's worried about getting the time off. I told we *have* to do this. If the CC is going to use laws, then we have to know our rights. I mean they gave no room for negations, not even an address of where I could send a payment even if I had the money, they didn't tell me the name of their agency and neither dude gave me their names, so I don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point.

Physically I'm not feeling too good today. I have cramps. I think I'm aging backwards too, and not in a good way like DH. The older I get the more I feel like I'm 14 years old and want to curl up with a heating pad for a day or so. I laid on the couch most of the morning and will do the same this afternoon. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow and now that the PMS has passed I won't be so worried and fretful and can get some peace of mind. I'm sleeping but not staying asleep(I was up at 3am and 5am) and had the worse dream. This morning I dreamed I took G to the bus stop and when I came back the house was gone, just gone, a big blank spot, and a guy was standing there telling me he told me so, I didn't know who I was dealing with, it was my fault and there was nothing I could do to fix it. It's not to hard to figure out what that dream means, huh?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Finally as promised, pictures.

First the top part of my Forest Goddess:

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"Forest Goddess" designed by Nora Corbett, Copyright Mirabilia Designs

Now the bottom part(the pictures kind of overlap):

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"Forest Goddess" designed by Nora Corbett, Copyright Mirabilia Designs

Sorry the pictures are so crappy. I took them in two different rooms of the house, at different times of the day. The top 1/2 of the piece the fabric looks grey but the bottom part of the piece is a better idea of the true fabric color.

My February ornament:

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Copyright Kooler Design Studios

This was a freebie from the Kooler Design Studio website but I had all sorts of problems with it. The color key and chart didn't match and I didn't like some of the color choices so I redesigned it slightly. When I got done, most of the backstitch color choices didn't work either but by then I was tired of redesigning so I just did it all in black. I like it now that it's done. It reminds me of my DH and the boys and I think I'll keep this one for my tree this year.

March's Ornament:

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copyright Elizabeth's Designs

This ornament is from a larger leaflet called "Holiday House" I didn't have the right charm or beads so I improvised with what I had on hand. I think the charm makes this look a bit more impressive than it is. I'm going to give this one I to my MIL for her tree.

I just want to say that I'm not getting a divorce. Yes, things are strained at the moment but it's mostly financial and trying to cope with a drastic cut in pay. I just can't take the stress anymore and I think it has gone way beyond anything we could fix. Even if I got a job this instant, one creditor is demanding payment in full, which is impossible, and they don't seem to care that I've continued to pay them every month, even when all we were getting was unemployment. I was seriously threatened on the phone yesterday by a collection agency. I don't know how much of what they said they can/will do/are doing is true or not. Some things I just plain didn't understand and when I tried to get clarification on it, I was hung up on. I didn't even realize I had been turned over to collections at all since I had not be notified by them or the original creditor. I called the company to tell them a payment was being mailed today and was told to call this agency instead. At this point I'm not sure if I should send the payment or not.....I just know I can't fix this and it's time for real help. I'm worried what the new laws have done but I'm thinking at this point even if we could re-organize or get some relief from the fee's we could manage. Right now it's just a mess and I'm not eating or sleeping or much of anything, but fretting. I could worry less like I said but it won't fix the main issue, less money, same amount of bills, equals trouble.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Yes, there was something here. I had a post all written out, published and then thought better of it, and censored some of the details. Then when the details were gone it didn't make much sense. Basically something I feared would happen, did. It's now time to call in a professional because it is way beyond my scope of how to handle and I don't see it improving anytime soon. Now just to figure out how to pick the professional since I've never had to do this before and you don't want to advertise to the world what you need.

I'm scared, it's crappy, I feel like a loser, but I'm hoping that taking this step will improve things and that we can get a fresh start and move on. I need to be able to focus on my kids, my family, my marriage without all these threats and fears haning over my head. Yes, I could worry less, but it doesn't solve the root of the problems and it doesn't look like that is changing.

All I can say is I'm glad I had friends today. I called one, who even after my peevish tantrum/outburst awhile ago, and who is struggling with her own stuff, took my phone call without hesitation and got me calmed enough so I could get G off to school. Thank god for my MIL, who I went to see after dropping G off at the bus stop. She just hugged me and told me it would be Ok. Thanks for an online friend who gave me another pep talk that got me through dinner and until DH and I could talk. We did, made the decision, and are trying to move forward from here. All I can say is it doesn't seem so bad, and maybe this will all be managable.

I didn't get much stitching in and I didn't get the pictures I promised off the camera either. I'm 10 beads shy of my April ornament but I'm just bushed tonight to finish that or the pictures. I'm getting D off to bed and then I'm crashing too. I'm tired and I need the calm and peace of sleep. After all tomorrow is another quote a favorite character of mine!

I don't even know if there was a new episode of Gimore Girls on tonight...if there was I missed it, darn it!

Monday, April 03, 2006

More Illness

Man, after doing so well most of the winter we can't seem to shake the illness bug. Over the weekend Dh got whatever stomach bug G and I had. He got sick right after coming home from the hockey clinic and spent most of the night in the bathroom. I took the boys out of the house Saturday morning so he could rest as early as it was possible. We went to breakfast, went grocery shopping, and ran a couple of other errands. Thankfully by the time we got home he was feeling better. So far ::knock wood:: Donovan seems to be the only one to escape the stomach bug.

The rest of the weekend was only so-so. I had hoped to escape the house for a little while on Sunday. I was going to treat myself to a movie, maybe some lunch, a new book or just browse. Instead we got haircuts for DH and for Donovan, both really needed them, but not what I wanted to do.

Dh and the boys went down to the lodge for the breakfast. Dh was tired as heck from being up all night Friday with the stomach bug, then skating in the wee hours of the morning on Saturday/Sunday and he got home just as the clock jumped ahead from 2am to 3am but he went down there. I guess they were swamped and he worked his butt off. I stayed home, did lots of laundry, watched TV, stitched and took a nap. I think I had a better time :D

Then this morning we all overslept(hate daylight savings time) and when G got up it was obvious he was stuffed up. It got worse as the morning progressed so we trooped off to CVS for some decongestants. It didn't help a lot but I felt like I had done something for him. By lunch time it was obvious he was off a little so I kept him home from school. He took a nap on the couch and he seems loads better. I think it's just a cold and I can feel that tickle in the back of my throat saying I"m next.

I spent the day tending to him and trying to get my house cleaned. Not that it was flithy or anything but I had to clean the bathroom, dust, vacuum, etc. Because Dh is having someone over tonight to work on a job with. There is "family" clean and "company" clean in my book. The only thing I didn't get to was to get the floors mopped but oh well, I'll do that tomorrow but I got just about everything else done. I think it looks good enough.

The only other thing is I had high hopes of at least *1* of our cars gone by the end of the weekend. Of course that didn't happen and as time passes it gets more frustrating. First the guy wanted to nickel and dime us and now he wants to pay us over time. I told Dh we would have better luck selling to a stranger but he wants to help this guy out....

Since it's now the beginning of April I thought I would review my March goals:

Finish model for Misty(2/3 done) Done, and mailed back to her

Finish the RR piece for Wendy(at the 1/2 way point) Done and mailed do the next person in the RR

Finish Feb's ornament(about 3/4 done) Done but it took forever!!!

Start and finish March's ornament (I haven't even thought about it, something small)Done

Make Forest Goddess my focus piece (means she gets at least an hour a days worth of stitching)Done and I'm having such fun working on this

Start Lavender Myst by Lesa Steele 3rd week of March for the SAL with the Michigan stitchers (since I finished my PAD and don't have any others ready to go we are altering it to include band samplers. I've had this kitted in my stash for at least 2 years, if not more)Not done, the middle to the end of March was a little bumpy so for my sake I decided to do away with my goals and just stitch on what I wanted to, which was mostly FG

Have more fun, worry less!!(my one and only New Years resolution which I failed miserably at during Feb but I'll get back on track in March) I failed at this one again this month, though it had it's moments, still I *have* to learn to let more go, relax more, not let people who are obviously idiots get to me, still some are harder to ignore than others.

On the bright side I already started and mostly completed my ornament for April. I will pick up the SAL the third week in April because by then I think I will need a break from FG. Tomorrow I promise some pictures!!