Sarah527 Blog

The life of a single mom of two boys as she explores new ideas, new thoughts, and a new career.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Well, that didn't take long

I feel kind of silly now saying I was going to be off line awhile longer when Dh came home and between the two of us we got my old sewing table moved from the basement and my computer set up in our bedroom by 10pm last night. I was able to clear out a corner and while it's not ideal, it will work for awhile. I think DH was feeling a bit disconnected from the world too so that is what gave him the extra push, well, that and me meeting him at the door saying he had to get the computer hooked up or else. The boys, while they don't play *a lot* online, were looking for things to do yesterday and D really wanted to play on the computer. The laptop is a no-no for the kids since it's technically not ours. It helped that instead of waiting for DH to help me move things or do something, I just go ahead now and do it. I'm getting much more done now(earlier in the week I took care of some wayward trees growing along the fence. I had been bugging him for over a month to do it and he didn't, so I jumped in and it felt good to have accomplished it). On one hand its frustrating that I have to do so much on my own, but not nearly as frustrating as waiting for something to get done that doesn't.

This means that there are 4 of us once again sharing one computer but it is better than nothing. The boys also think now they can hang out in our room but I had to put my foot down about that. It couldn't have come at a better time though since the weather today is cloudy and gloomy and there are no kids to play with so it's nice for them to have something else to do.

Tonight we are going to head to a new Ikea store that opened in Canton. It was a very big deal and all over the news for days. We need a smallish sized desk/table or something to put Dh's computer on. We are still debating if it's going to go in the living room or if we are going to find a way to put it our room as well(if we move the dogs crate to the living room we will have another good sized corner free). I looked at Ikea online to see if they had an options and they had several in the $20-$40 range so we are going to take a look in person. They are very basic and very sparse and it will take some getting used to not being able to spread all out when you compute.

Today I'm just taking it easy and resting up for what will be a busy weekend. Steph isn't even here yet but I can safely say that I think this has been good for the house. We've been here 9 years and since we've moved in, we haven't done a lot, probably because we had to do so much to the house just to make it livable and then the boys came along. This has been a good chance to shake things up, move things around, rethink how things are placed, and most importantly throw a lot of crap AWAY!!!!

On the stitching front I haven't been doing much. My FG is still languishing without a face or arms though she has hair now. I did go back to the bead store I picked up another bead to replace the eggplant one. I'm still not sure if the one I bought originally would work or not but I liked this color too so I will try them both, if I ever get around to it.

I didn't even get an ornament done in June, went through my stash, but nothing called to me, which is odd, because I love Christmas ornaments, and I have tons to choose from. I never realized how much of my stitching was spurred on by my online/friendship connections and when those were cut, my stitching has really suffered. On the plus side it's been really good for the pocket book since except for the beads I haven't made a single stitching related purchase since February.

I did have a tiny urge to buy the new Just Cross Stitch Ornament book but I don't want to buy it "sight unseen" but the thought of going into a cross stitch store all by myself is really depressing. I haven't had to make that trip by myself in a really long time and I'm not sure if I know how or if it will be any fun. DH said he'd go with me, and he meant it, but I know it won't be the same. I joked with him that I would hold him to that and drag him along, in his PJ's, when our not so LNS has their annual Moonlight Madness sale in October(you get a prize t if you are in your PJ's). DH said to tell him the date and he'd be there He's not such a bad guy after all and has really been supportive to me as I try to figure out exactly what I did wrong or how I could of handled things differently. It's a moot point but I would like to at least learn something or grow from it.

Instead of stitching I've been doing a lot of reading. I went to the library and took a bunch of books out. I read 4 by Nora Roberts(a 3 older ones, one new one), the newest Sue Grafton(though I think I missed something along the way because I didn't get the motive), a not so great book about a love affair with a ghost, and I am currently in the middle of a book by Barbara Taylor Bradford. It's only so-so but not horrible either.

I hope everyone has a safe happy 4th of July weekend! DH has to work Monday but he's hoping for a light day since so many other companies are going to be closed that day. I hope he is right!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Back online for just a few minutes.

We have just 9 days until Steph will be here full time so we've been in full out move everything mode. She is going on a trip with her mom, who is here from Florida, over the weekend so she is trying to do as much as she can before she leaves since she will have to little time when she returns. Our basement is currently a mish mash of her stuff and our stuff. We pulled the plugs on the computers about a week ago and we are still trying to figure out where/how they are all going to fit elsewhere. This was my biggest concern of her moving in and as I thought it poses the biggest problem. I'm currently on the Lodges laptop just to pop on and see what is up in the outside world. I have over 100 e-mails(mostly junk I'm sure) to wade through but I'm not really in the mood for it.

I thought I would miss the computer since I used it so much but really except for a few things(like popcap games) and few people for the most part it's been kind of freeing not having it on and maybe we might only hook back up one computer, maybe DH's, for the summer. I don't know, we will have to see. It's funny how much of my time and energy was spent in the online world and how freeing it has been to walk away from a lot of it. I think it has been really good and I'm putting things into a more proper perspective. I did a quick look around and it seems things are as they ever were.......

Things are very well here. I finished my SIL's wedding sampler today. I think it looks Ok. I had a hard time with the centering of their names since hers has 6 letters and his only 3 so no matter the spacing it looked lopsided but it's good enough. I should be able to finish it as a wall hanging next week(I hope). I might frame it instead...Not sure, I'll have DH help me with the decision.

D went back to the dr's last Saturday for a re-check. He was given a clean bill of health and we finish up the antibiotic I think tomorrow...I'll keep giving it to him until its gone. The other Dr. Thinks that instead of a strain of resistant strep that a more likely scenario was a secondary infection on top of the strep. Which ever it was it's great to see D back to full strength even if he is a handful now that he has so much time on his hands.

Dh's rib is do so much better. He skated on Saturday in the first game of the summer season. They got beat, badly. They were playing a team a lot better than they are since they don't have enough teams to have seperate divisions during the summer. It didn't help that they were very short handed and had a few new players as well. DH said he loved it though because he learned a lot and he thinks playing better teams will be good for them in the long run. It will be nice this summer because so far it looks like all the games are early so we will be able to go to most of them. The boys *love* watching their dad play.

Last night was another weekly BBQ. Steph's mom came with her and our friend Scott joined us for awhile too(his wife has a class on Wednesday nights) We did just burgers/dogs and apple crisp for dessert. We then headed to a local park for a fireworks display and then headed home to play some cards. Steph's mom and I beat Dh and Steph, 10-1. It felt good to beat DH and so handily!!! These weekly BBQ's are quickly becoming my favorite night of the week. We have such a good time laughing and eating and just hanging out. I'm glad we are doing them!!

DH and I also got away for a little while on Monday evening. We figured since we can't afford dinner and movie we are going to do smaller date nights. We left the kids with Grandma, went to a local coney, split an order of chili fries and I had a sundae. After that we took a walk around the town, window shopped, and then picked up the boys. It was nice to have a couple of hours alone and it was a cheap date too!!

This weekend will the be the final list of things things we need to do. We are going to lay a new floor in the bathroom down there as well as put a quick coat of paint on it(the harvest gold is just not a good color). We've had the tiles forever just haven't gotten to it and with it being such a smallish room it shouldn't need more than a 1/2 gallon to do two coats. We also need to clean out the frig down there and make sure the kitchenette cupboards are clean enough for food. Both are small areas and I hope we can get them done on Saturday since Sunday is the lodge breakfast so we will be tied up all day. There is always Tuesday since we don't have plans for the holiday.

The laptop has to go back to the lodge tonight and who knows when we will have the other systems up and running but I'm thinking sometime after the 10th of July things should be smoothing out....I hope!!

And my talking about Steph moving in and some of the worries I have about it in no way imply that I'm not looking forward to having her here. I still think it's a good plan and I'm happy about it, just hung up on a few of the details of it all.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Now I'm confused!

D's temp was definitely up last night. DH even bought an oral digital thermometer on his way home from lodge and it was above 100 on that thermometer as well as the ear thermometer(the ear one gave a slightly higher reading). I gave him a motrin at about 8pm, he went to bed early, slept nearly 12 hours, got up, said he felt great, ate a huge breakfast, and his temp was completely normal. It's now nearly 10am and it's still normal. He seems fine today and says he has no headache. For now I'll keep an eye on him and keep an eye on his temp and see what happens. It's a very rainy morning so I'll make sure he takes it easy today and we are getting ready to pop in a movie. Maybe he just over did it on Monday since he was outside nearly the entire day and was on his bike almost the whole time. He will go back to the dr's on Saturday morning for a re-check and he has to be on the antibiotic for another 9 days. Maybe it's just going to take a little more time for him to be 100% and maybe the temp last night was his body's way of getting him to slow down.

Tonight is our weekly BBQ. We are making Fajita's. I have the meat marinating now and I did as much as I could this morning so I can take it easy the rest of the day. Steph is bringing some dips and the beer and we have a tropical fruit salad, rice, beans, chips and salsa and brownies for dessert. After we eat the plan is to move some more things out of the basement and into the garage and she has more boxes to move in(she was here on Monday with a bunch). Her plan is to bring as much as she can in small trips between now and when she has to move out so on that last weekend all she have to move is furniture.

Now I just have to hope that it stops raining long enough for us to grill. It's pouring this morning and the forecast is for scattered showers all day. If it clears long enough to start the fire we should be Ok because once the charcoal is started we can move the grill into the garage or under the eaves.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

His temp is back up to nearly 101.

This has got to be the most stubborn case of strep throat I've ever seen. It took D a couple of days to respond to the new antibiotic and he really took it easy on Saturday and Sunday. Monday morning he said he felt awesome when he woke up and spent most of the day riding his bike with the little boy down the street. This morning he wasn't quite as energentic and lazed around most of the morning. He complained of a headache but he said it was just a normal one. I took his temp around noon when he said his head hurt but it was normal. He ate a full lunch and went out to play with the same little boy. I noticed however that instead of riding their bikes they seemed to hang out in the yard most of the day. He seemed subdued after dinner and a little while ago I noticed he looked not so hot again. Took his temp and it's back up to nearly 101.

Of course I will be on the phone first thing tomorrow morning and I'm sure this will be yet another trip to the dr's and of course more money. I shudder to think what this antibiotic will cost, the first one was $15, the next $60, so I imagine this will be quite a bit more. I also have no clue where the money is going to come from to pay for it.

I feel so bad for D. This is the first time he's ever had strep throat and it seems to be the case that will never go away. He was crying a few minutes ago wanting to know if he will ever get better. I'm wondering the same thing. I still think it's funny that Web says strep should resolve itself in 7 days with or without antibiotics. I wish this strain of strep read that!

Monday, June 19, 2006

The house is very quiet today!

D woke up this morning and told me he felt awesome and was glad that he was no longer sick. He said it felt like he had been sick forever. After a big breakfast he headed out the door as early as I would allow him and he's been down the block pretty much since 8am. There is a nice little boy who comes to stay with his Grandma now and then and he is there today and was glad to see D and G out playing. I just went to check and the grandma had just given them all some lunch. She complimented the boys on how well behaved they were being and assured me when/if they got to much, she'd send them home. I believe her too!! She also said it makes it a bit easier on her so she can get some things done and it keeps her grandson entertained as well, so I guess it's a win-win for us all.

The quiet is nice since I have one of those not so great pre-that time headaches. I've been able to have the TV off and got another section of my SIL's wedding piece done.

I was saddened this morning when someone let me know that a friends kitty had passed away. I don't know what/how it happened but it made me really sad. He was such a friendly kitty, good for a cuddle and so pretty. I sent her a card to tell her how sorry I was for her loss. It's really hard to lose a pet. I then gave my little ball of fluff an extra big hug. Rest in Peace Jelly.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

He's doing a lot better today!!

D woke up this morning just like his old self and you can tell he is feeling so much better. He hates the new antibiotic because it doesn't taste as good as the Amoxicillin but he only has to take it twice a day. His temp remains normal since yesterday afternoon, and he says he doesn't have a headache today, so hopefully this will kick it. He also had a really restful night and I think he would of slept in if his little brother hadn't woken him up at 5:45am.

Last night was good, even with DH gone. I did put a few stitches on my new project, probably less than 10, but I did get it all set up with the floss pulled and cut, working copy made and marked, so it was a start. I also put quite a bit of work into my SIL's piece and I'm confident I will have it done in time.

I was also very happy to find a repeat of Austin City Limits with Jason on it, completely by accident. I was flipping through the channels and there he was in all his greatness. It was awesome. It was an old show(at least 3 years old) and I've seen it before and have it on tape, but watched it anyway. After that I found a Mryna Loy/William Powell movie marathon on TMC. I watched some of one movie and taped the twe others. I would have rather gone to the party or had DH at home with me but I tried to make the best of it.

I also finished a book on tape that left me scratching my head. It was "S is for Silence" by Sue Grafton. I got the who done it, but not the why, and I'm wondering if I missed something when I was listening. That is the only draw back to a book on tape, it's hard to skim back through.

Dh's ribs are still really bothering him but he says they are getting better. From my point of view I don't' see it in the way he is moving or the little fake cough he has to do instead of a real cough, but they are his ribs so I have to take his word for it. He wants to be ready for the summer hockey season so he is trying to take it easy on them.

Happy Father Day's to all the Dads out there!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

We finally found the antibiotic and Yeah!! for CVS!

Dh first went to Costco for the prescription in hopes of getting a good price. They wanted $80 for the name brand version and didn't have the generic. The second stop didn't have either in stock so he went to our local CVS. They had the generic but they wanted close to $80 for it. Dh pointed out that he could pay that for the *name* brand at Costco. He said he didn't make a huge deal but grumbled a little and then just told them to fill it because we needed it and he wasn't go back to Costco. After a couple of minutes they called him back and the pharmacist said they had called Costco and would match their price on the generic so we saved about $20 which was nice. Normally I hate that CVS because I've always been treated so rudely there, especially the pharmacy, but kudos to them to match the price.

I looked the antibiotic up on line. It's pretty cool how it works. It interferes with the bacteria making a cell wall and basically all the bacteria just kind of disolve. Wikipedia also gave a pretty interesting history on how this was discovered(in a sewer in the late 1800's and it inhibited the growth of Typhoid). This one antibiotic is considered 3rd generation from there but it's was neat. Antibiotics are very cool things.

It's still Strep...

We had a really fitful night last night. D's temp spiked again to over 103 and was tough to bring down. He was up a lot which meant I was up with him, as was DH, but even time he moved I swear I woke up. I got really scared because he said his throat is fine but his head hurt so bad. In my mind bad headache + high fever = somehting bad. According to the Dr though a headache is a common complaint with step and his tonsils are still quite swollen. She was very suprised his throat didn't hurt. She assured me it's all the same strain of strep and changed his antibiotic. Only problem is finding it. DH has been to two pharmacies and niether stock it or can get it until mid-afternoon on Monday. He's now off to a third to see if they may have it.

I'm not feeling great today and kind of feeling cranky. I'm so tired because it seems like all I've done this week is wait on either DH or D. I'm just tuckered out and am looking forward to DH coming home so I can take a nap! This sinus thing and that time fast approaching aren't helping me to feel my best today.

Tonight is the end of the season hockey party at my SIL's house. We had made arrangements for the boys to spend the night with my other SIL at her house but now with D sick there is no way to do that. DH is still going, as he should since it's his team and he's worked so hard at it, still its hard that he is going to be having fun and I get to wait on a sick kid. I'd like to be one of those wives who insist that he stay home too but what is the point? Why should we both miss out? He was saying I should go, and he'd stay home, but that would be sillly, especially since all D wants is mom right now.

I'm sure tomorrow D will be feeling better. I'm trying to look forward to a more restful evening tonight. I got out of the house for a little while last night by heading to the library and to the bead store, so I got a bit of a break, but I was looking forward to an overnight away from the kids. I may treat myself to a new XS start since I've been itching to start my new next planned project and I have a really good book on tape I could listen to while I do that.

I can also work on the wedding piece for my SIL. I found a piece of fabric in my stash and a really cool, funky, overdyed Needle Necessities, that have some of the colors of her house and just kind of look like her. I can probably put a good dent in it tonight if I buckle down and do it. I think I will add some silver beads to it and it will be nice. Instead of framing, I may finish it up as a small pillow or as a door hanging. I think I can manage that by July 7th.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Sicker than I thought

D was looking bad again this afternoon. He took a nap but I couldn't convince him to eat. I was working on some things in the basement when he came down crying that his head hurt so band and that his eyes were stinging. He looked pink cheeked and glassy eyed again so I took his temp and it was nearly 100. I called my dr's office and they want to see him again, just to make sure, but there was no way I could make it across town at this time of day and get there before they closed for the day. He has an appt at 9:15 tomorrow morning.

I'm hoping it's as simple as maybe needing a different antibiotic. He is currently on Amoxicillin and I did what I was supposed to: refrigerate it, shake it well, give it in well spaced out doses but maybe he needs something stronger.


We're sick! Again, what a surprise!

Not with Strep throat thank goodness but another nasty cold. I feel so bad for D because first he got the cold I had Memorial weekend, then boom got hit with the strep throat,felt better for a day and then boom, cold time. Dh is also pretty bad since it's incredibly painful to cough and/or sneeze with his ribs hurting. The only one remaining standing is G. He's fine, healthy as a horse, and can't figure out why none of us will play with him. I did something *very* rare yesterday. I did nothing. I sat on the couch, with D curled up with me, a box of tissues and read the whole day.

The Asian Feast was a huge success and it was a lot of fun. We ate outside and our friend Scott came over too. We played cards and just had a really good time. Next weekend after dinner we will be working on getting more of our stuff out of the basement, into the garage and Steph will bring more things from her place too. The end of the month is fast approaching but it was nice to hear that she was looking forward to coming to stay. I worried that she was dreading it and feeling like it was her only choice but she said she is looking forward to a fun summer.

We were able to get D's report card before we all started to feel so bad and he did really well. He is excelling in the language skills according to his teacher and is reading well beyond grade level. He didn't do so great in Math and we need to work on that over the summer. It's not a surprise and I've heard our friend Mary(who is a math teacher) say they push reading so much that basic math skills are often over looked. I'm going to talk with her and see if she can help me put together some things we can work on over the summer. I told D that math is like reading, with it's own rules and rhythm and the harder he works now, the easier it will be down the road.

The people at the school office said they had a lot of kids out the last couple of days of school and that strep was going around. We went to the park after that and ran into a mom of a girl in D's class. She too had strep. We were chatting how it was a weird case of strep. Instead of a sore throat coming on first and being the main complaint, D and her daughter both complained first of a stomach ache and wasn't until a couple of days later that their throats even started to hurt(I don't think D said anything until Monday morning about it hurting) Weird time of the year for it.

I found this freebie through a link on the TWBB and I think it would be good for my SIL. Someone was asking about a sampler to do as anniversary gift and this was posted as a suggestion:

It's about 1/2 down the page and it's called "Love will Keep us Together". It's looks fairly simple and I can personalize it to match the colors in her house. I wanted to stay away from anything to girlie because that's not really my SIL. I also wanted to stay away from anything that has the last name on it because 1) I'm not sure my SIL is going to take his name since she still has kids in school. After her divorce she didn't take back her maiden name because she said she didn't the name confusion with the kids(maybe it might be different in this case) and 2) he has a really complicated and long polish name so I'd rather skip it if I could. With something this small I will probably be able to frame it myself. I just have to pick the color. I'm not sure if I might want to take a trip to the stitching store for a nice over dyed or if I want to just stick with some DMC. I need to look in my stash, when I feel better, and decide.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

What can I have stitched by July 7?

My SIL(my Dh's sister) announced yesterday that she is going to marry her boyfriend on July 7th. It's going to be a small civil ceremony and there isn't a lot of room for family so we will be spared that, but there will be a reception afterwards at my MIL house. I need to call my MIL sometime today to see what kind of help she needs.

I'd liked to say hooray!! But it's hard. The guy is an idiot, mouthy, drinks too much and I just don't like him. It should not have been a surprise but it was a bit to me because she was very anti-marriage when she got divorced. One of the things she said for a long time was how stifled she felt when she was married but yet she was barely single before hooking up with this guy and has been with him since almost the day the divorce was final. Still it's her choice so what else can you do but smile, say congratulations, and wish them well.

I'm trying to think of something to stitch for them, or decide *if* I want to stitch something for them. I don't think I have enough notice to get something done in time for the actual wedding but probably by the end of the summer. I'll have to dig through my stash. I have a couple of really nice Irish sayings/poems, one I was thinking of doing for her for Christmas and their new house, since the colors in it match the blue in her dining room. I can take a look at it today and see if how long it may take me to complete.

We got G's report card yesterday. He did well, grew in a lot of area's, and the teacher said he matured a lot and that he was a joy to have in her class(I wonder if she says that to all the parents). The only down side is that he doesn't take to challenges well and when things are difficult he would rather cry and give up then try. It was the same thing that Donovan struggled with for a long time and eventually outgrew. I hope that G will do the same. The hardest part about parenting I think is to see your worse qualities reflected back at you and it seems that both of my boys have my low self esteem. We work hard to improve it but some of it will just come with age.

I don't have D's report card yet. Since he was ill I have to pick it up. Yesterday morning DH went on his way to work to pick it up but his teacher wasn't in yet so he wasn't able to get it. They were supposed to send his report card home with G but while the note saying they were supposed to was in G's back pack, the report card was not. The teachers and staff will be there until the end of the week so we plan tomorrow to walk up to the school, get the report card, and then stop at the park on the way home. I'd do that today but I have the worse headache this morning and I have a bunch of stuff to do around the house to get ready for tonight's BBQ.

I made Suz's Asian Cole Slaw last night and all I can say is YUM!! It was so good, really fast to make, and I'm sure it will be a hit. I'm really looking forward to tonight. It's amazing how much fun we all have together and it's a lot of fun planning the menu and finding new things to cook. Next week I think we will grill some flank steak and make fajita's out of them and I'm looking for simple recipes for Salsa, guacamole, etc.

I also wanted to mention that DH bought me a little present. He said he felt bad that he didn't do much for either my birthday or mother's day so he bought me something. All I can say is it was some pretty unmentionables. I know a lot of women don't like gifts of lingerie because it feels like it's more of a gift for a the guy then you but I don't mind it. It helps remind me that I'm more than just some "old" mom and it it's nice to see that after 18 years he still looks at me that way, celluite and all!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Fever free!!

D woke up this morning fever free and saying he felt pretty good. He looks so much better and is in a much better mood. We got home early enough from the Dr's that I was able to get two doses of the antibiotic in him before bed so that is why he feels so good this morning. All I can say is thank god for modern medicine. I can't imagine what it was like before antibiotics when all you could do for your kids is just watch them and hope they got better. That would have been torture!!

I looked up strep throat on WebMD and if the rest of us remain fine until the end of the week it means we should be Ok. The incubation period is 2-5 days, and D should no longer be contagious after he's been on the antibiotic 24 hours.

He looked so much better and was acting so much better that I *almost* sent him to school today because he really wanted to. I then realized if today had been any other day but the last day, I wouldn't have even considered it. I also didn't want to risk getting some other kid sick so he stayed home. I'm off to get G from the bus in a little while and that will be the official start to summer break. I'm looking forward to a slower pace around here.

We might sneak off to the library later today. I think D is well enough for that and I don't anticipate the library being that busy either.

Monday, June 12, 2006

From a little sick, to really sick, in about 3 hours time.

D did pretty well most of the morning. He ate, he watched some TV and his temp remained pretty normal for awhile. About noon it spiked again, back over 103 according to the ear thermometer(and remind me to buy a real one cause I don't always trust those readings). He seemed really sick at that point and looked just horrid, all pink cheeked and glassy eyed. I gave him some motrin, got him to lay down and I hoped that once the motrin kicked in he would feel a bit better. About 90 minutes later, he was still saying he didn't feel good, still felt really hot, still looked really sick, took his temp, still says 102. Even though it hadn't been that long since the last dose of motrin, I gave him another, and after another hour his temp was still registering well above 101, I gave my doctors office a call.

My dr's office is open until 8pm today, thank goodness, and we will be trooping off in rush hour traffic in a few minutes, to wait at the dr's office for someone to see him. I called Dh and I was shocked when he said he's leaving the office now and will meet us there. I think D has had more illnesses in the last two years and they seemed to hit him harder than they did when he was littlier. Schools = little germ factories.

I suspect tonsillitis because of how he is talking. I'm only bummed that my favorite dr isn't in today so we will have to see whoever but at this point I just want him looked at. I don't want to wait until tomorrow when he may be more sick or risk him getting more sick in the middle of the night when the ER would be our only option.

I called the school and I can come up tomorrow and pick up his report card and yearbook but I feel bad he missed the last two days.

Back from the Dr's. It's strep throat. Some antibiotics and he should be feeling better soon!! I'm glad now that I took him today instead of waiting. He would of only have gotten more sick. Now to just keep our fingers crossed that none of us get it. G is doing fine, I'm just tired, DH says he feels fine too. The thing with strep is it is often contagious *before* the symptoms appear so if we are going to get it, we've been exposed.

I feel bad when I think of all the people we were around on Saturday with the 40th birthday party and at the hockey game. Except for being a little cranky during the day on Saturday, he seemed perfectly healthy.

I don't know if it was required but I did get a dr's note so I will drop that off when I get the report card and yearbook.

Illness, injury, and a long weekend.

The weekend started out Ok. Friday was good, DH had a good time at clinic, I enjoyed watching a movie, and we had a couple of hours together after he got home from clinic.

Then Saturday D woke up in the worst mood. He was cranky most of the day but did better when early afternoon we went to my MIL house for my SIL's 40th birthday party. He ate well, had cake/ice cream and had a blast playing with his cousins.

We went from there to the arena for Dh's play off game. DH likes to be early so we got there an hour before the game start. As we were waiting I noticed that D was a little off. He told me he had eaten too much cake.

The game started late(the previous game went into overtime) and about 1/2 way through the first period I realized D was sick. He was warm but in the cold arena it was hard to tell if it was because my hands were cold or if he was running a temp. I know he was shivering, and looked not so good. I was thankful that my SIL's sister was there and kept an eye on G while I took D out into the warm lobby. I couldn't convince him to stay because he wanted to watch dad play so we were in/out quite a few times.

It was a pretty intense game and they managed to tie it up and keep it tied for awhile. A few minutes into the second period I looked away for a second, looked back and saw DH on the ice. Now I've seen him fall before, but he gets up pretty quick. Not this time. He wasn't moving, not even in pain and my heart stopped. It started beating again when a spectator for the other team started yelling that my DH better hurry up off the ice, and that he was delaying the game(I nearly poked her eyes out). He did finally get up but it was a good 2 minutes before he did and he had to be helped off the ice by a couple of his team mates.

I wanted to rush to the bench but I wasn't sure what the rule were and thought it would look bad . He did play again, but he looked stiff and he was obviously favoring something. The game went into overtime but they lost in the last minute 4-3.

After the game it was obvious D was running a fever. Thankfully someone had a motrin and he was able to take that and it worked pretty quick(I'm so thankful that he can swallow tablets now). He didn't want to go home but wanted to go over for pizza with the team.

When DH came walking out of the locker room, I could see it on his face he was in pain, serious pain. I asked what happened and it was a simple fall. He hit a bad patch of ice, and down he went. He fell wrong, all on his side, and his chest protector and elbow pads edges both jammed into his ribs. It completely knocked the wind out of him and he said it took him a long time to get it back. My SIL checked him pretty well in the locker room and his ribs aren't broken but they hurt bad. We did go over and have some pizza with the team and but didn't stay long.

Sunday started early and I spent most of the day waiting on either D, whose temp spiked to 103 by 3pm or DH who as long as he stayed perfectly still felt Ok, but couldn't do much more than sit. It doesn't hurt for DH to breathe and amazingly he has no bruising, but any movement, laughing, or sneezing are all bad. He had to sleep propped up on his back.

D is home today from school and I doubt highly he will be there tomorrow either. He was crying that he is going to miss the end of school, can't say goodbye to his friends and teacher, and is going to miss the pizza party they are having today at lunch. I feel bad for him but he is too sick to go. His temp is down from yesterday but 101 means you are too sick to go to school. If it spikes again I will have to make a dr's appt for him. Last night was pretty restless for him but I hope I can convince him to nap sometime today.

DH was feeling slightly better this morning, or so he said. He took a really long hot shower before he headed to work and I'm thankful he doesn't have a more physical job, most of it is done behind a desk so he should be OK. Of course he wouldn't admit to me if he was in pain so I'm just going on how he was moving this morning. He too was disappointed this morning that unless his ribs feel 100% on by Friday he will have to miss the last clinic, and pizza party afterwards. I guess they can grow up but they are still little boys at heart.

G woke up late this morning and he's not looking so hot either. His temp is normal but he looks tired as am I. I'm hoping he doesn't get whatever D has and can finish out his school year.

I'll have to call the school later today and see if there is anything I need to get for D from the school. They cleaned out their lockers on Friday and it sounded like the next day and 1/2 were not going to be that busy. I doubt he will be missing much education. I'm assuming they can mail his report card but I need to make sure.

What a long weekend it turned out to be....

Friday, June 09, 2006

Did I do a 180?

I've been thinking about something that Lori said in the comments about me changing my feelings about hockey and Steph and it's been rumbling around my brain on/off for awhile.

I did change my feelings, was it drastic, or fast? It didn't seem that way to me. I think I realized that no matter how much I pissed, whined and moaned, it didn't change anything. DH was still going to play hockey and he was still going to see Steph. Did he disregard my feelings? Maybe a little but you know he does have a right to a life away from me and as an adult can make his own decisions.

I just got to a point where I realized I could continue to be disagreeable about both things, I could nag, I could whine, I could be angry but what was that accomplishing? Nothing but leaving me feeling angry, a lot, and DH was being more distant. I had to find a way to get comfortable with it and I did.

There are a lot worse things he could be doing and at least Hockey is good for his health, and good for the stress level. I know the people he is playing with(mostly) and most of them are in in it for the game, to have fun, burn off some energy, go home. They aren't a party crowd, most are married, or with someone and except for a couple of beers and free pizza afterwards, that's about it.

There were a few exceptions, a few weeks there where he was gone a lot but once I told him that was too much, he ramped it back. Very rarely did he do a hockey practice and a lodge meeting in the same week, so it really only meant he was gone 3X a week, and a majority of that time was after the kids were already tucked in bed so honestly it wasn't taking away a lot of family time. Most evenings I'm upstairs watching TV, he's on the computer, so we weren't' losing a lot of us time either. And honestly some nights when he was off at hockey, it was great to be able to lay in the middle of the bed, watch a movie, stitch as much as I wanted to and the silence was nice(I think this will be even more important this summer, when the boys are on break)

Since the night he fell asleep in the car he calls in. I didn't demand this but it has helped me feel less worried about where he is and what he is up to. He calls when the games/clinic is over and then calls again when he is on the way home. Now I wake up after that call, wait for him to get home and we spend a little time together before falling back asleep. It's been fun seeing him all excited and pumped up from the game.

And weird thing happened, as I got more open to it, the more he included me and I didn't feel so much like an outsider or that he was doing something other than spending time away from *me*. When I stopped being so angry about it, I got to be excited with him. The team standings are still on the fridge, right next to the kids report cards, and he is really proud....As am I.

I guess the same can be said about Steph. I look back at worrying about her and I just have to laugh at myself. They are so *not* a couple, it's not even funny. And after being around her I can see why he likes her. She's fun, she's open, she's kind, and a good person. Even though they had worked together a long time I had only had maybe a dozen conversations with her. I guess I should of insisted long ago at spending more time with her, and I could have easily put these fears to rest. She is also so awesome with the boys and they are really looking forward to her coming to stay this summer.

I also have to take into account the time DH is getting to spend with his brother. I forget sometimes since I have such a troubled relationship with my sister that there are people out there that actually like their siblings. DH's brother was in the military for over 20 years, all of that time at least an hour from home. Dh didn't get to see him as much as he liked and now for them to have the chance to be together and hang out has been so good for DH.

Plus if you saw the look of pure joy, excitement and happiness on a face of someone you love so dearly, it's hard to find fault in that, and that is look I saw on Dh's face when they tied their first game, or when they got to second place. It's not a look I was seeing very often and one I like seeing a lot more of.

About 3 years ago, when D was in Kindergarten, I complained one day on a BB about how he came home smelling like his teachers perfume. I was all upset that she had worn so much that D came home reeking of it(I think I said he smelled like a whorehouse). I thought I was justified in my thinking and my complaining. Someone told me to be thankful that someone cared enough about my child to hug him, because that's what she had done, hugged him when he was sad, and that I should focus on that. It was such a simple statement but it really changed the way I thought and not just for that situation. When something comes up now, and I get my hackles up, I try to flip it, think to myself, is there another way to look at this. Sometimes I can do that pretty quickly, sometimes it takes a little longer. I like to think that is what I've done here, just turned things slightly, and looked at it differently. For me, this time it seemed like a while for me to be Ok with it, to others I guess it seemed fast. I don't consider Steph a best friend or anything but she has been around a lot more with the weekly BBQ's and moving stuff in, and I'm adjusting to that.

I didn't mind that people were concerned, or that they said so. It's just it seemed to me to go beyond that. It seemed that when I didn't agree, I got the complete cold shoulder that left me feeling hurt. It wasn't just conversations about Hockey and Steph that went ignored, but basically anything I said. I felt like I was only talking to 2-3 people and when I asked for advice, a straight forward, hey how does this look? And got nothing but crickets chirping, I got the hint. I'm sad about that, these were people I really liked, trusted, and most importantly thought understood me. To realize that they didn't feel the same was hard, is hard, and I'm not sure how to fix that. It bugs the heck out of me that tomorrow they will all be off having fun, and even though my day is now free, I wouldn't be welcome to join them.

One more thing....I hate going to the grocery store by myself, even if I can. I do all the food stuff in my house. I make the list, clip the coupons, gather the bottles, do all the prep, serving, packing lunches etc.. I don't think it's too much to ask the rest of my family to take 1 hour(or so) out of their time to help me shop for it and put it away. The boys love to go and we use it as a learning tool in math and all sorts of other things. If I had to do it all by myself, I would be very upset. That's not to say I don't occasionally but like I said, if I'm going to do all the other stuff, they can help at least help with the shopping.

Now I need a good recipe for some kind of Asian side dish or salad for next Wednesday. We are going to grill steak and chicken marinated in a teriyaki sauce and I need idea's of what to serve with it!

My Greek Salad Recipe

Yesterday someone asked for my pasta Greek salad recipe. It was really easy. I basically boiled a box of Rotini pasta, rinsed in cold water and drained really well when it was done. I then put it in a large bowl, added coarsely chopped cucumbers, red onion, black olives, and crumbled feta cheese to it(add as much or as little as you like). I mixed in about 3/4 of a bottle of a good quality Greek dressing, tossed and the most important part is to let it sit overnight. The next day before serving I garnished the bowl with some cold beets, the little peppercinci(sp) peppers and then a squirt of fresh lemon juice. An Italian pasta salad is about the same but with that I used a zesty Italian dressing, tri color rotini, and a spice by McCormick called Pasta Salad Spice. I change around the veggies to broccoli, onions, red/yellow/green peppers, and cherry tomatoes and then garnish with shredded Parmesan cheese or fresh mozzarella.

Last night Steph invited us out to her apartment for dinner. She said it was only fair since I normally do so much cooking for her, for her to cook for us. Her boyfriend and couple of other friends were going to be there too. Unfortunately D's cold was still pretty bad and I didn't want to inflict him on the in-laws and make them sick so Billy went without me, at my urging. It sounded like DH had fun but I don't know for sure since he was home after I was in bed and I only saw him briefly this morning.

DH also brought home a few more boxes for us to put in the basement. The end of the month is approaching fast and I'm getting a little nervous. I still think it's an Ok decision. We do still really need the money, she still really needs a place to stay, but as usual I get hung up on all the details. It would help if I could get DH to make a decision on what he wants to do with our stuff that is currently in the basement and figure out where the computers are going to go. I would be willing to just move one, and put the other away. I think all of us could do with a little less computer time and a little less TV time but he won't hear of it. I love him, he's a great guy, but is such a procrastinator. I can see him moving our stuff out as she is moving her stuff in and theres not a single thing I can do about it. I've boxed up what I could but I can't physically move the stuff out on my own. Sure I can take part my computer system, move the bits, but the two desks, stereo, 32 inch TV, huge dining table his computer is on, sofa, and sewing table are too big for me to move on my own. He keeps saying "later, we still have some time".

I'm also not going to touch anything electronic because I've had the worst luck this past week. First on 6/6 our cable modem was on the fritz. Right in the middle of checking my mail it went out. All the lights were on, it said it was working, but we couldn't connect online. We even called the cable company who said they could "see" it and it should be fine. Finally about 3pm, boom it was back to working. My phone has been acting funny. It keeps lighting up and buzzing like I have a message, only no voice/text messages appear. Yesterday I tried scanning and printing something. The first 2 pages were fine, no problem, then boom, the computer told me there was no scanner attatched. Restarting didn't improve anything then when DH came home, looked at it, it would scan, but not print. Then like 10pm last night I tried printing again and it was fine. The topper was the stove last night. We inherited it from my MIL and it didn't come with a manual but she said all I had to do to self clean it was make sure the oven started out cold, hit the self clean button, walk away and it would do its thing. Since it was cool yesterday evening I did that. It said it would take 4 hours. About 3 hours in it started beeping. The little screen said F2 and beeping, really loudly. Hitting the off button would only make it stop for a few seconds and started back up again. I had no clue what was wrong or how to make it stop, so I just unplugged it and went to bed. Thankfully the oven wasn't that dirty and the few hours it did work, loosen most of the stuff, and I was able to wipe it up with no problem. I'm starting to get a complex here.

Today is Friday!! yeah!!! Tomorrow is my SIL 40th birthday party. Because of hockey we will only be able to be there for a short time and then me and the boys are going to watch DH and the team play. My MIL said she rented a chocolate fountain...YUMMY! I also hopeto convince DH to do something to the basement on Sunday but I doubt that....

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Feeling introspective today!

I don't know what it is today but I find myself feeling very introspective today and in turn feeling a bit lonely.

I was watching GMA this morning and they did a story with a guy and he was giving "red flags" to look for when dating and how to spot a "bad boy". #1 red flag was lack of long term friendships. He said this is a sign that when people really get to know someone, they turn the other way, and should be a big sign that there is something wrong with that person. That got me to thinking of me. I have been in a long term marriage/relationship with my husband and I think I'm very successful at that. I'm happy with him and he in turn seems happy with me. I've managed a pretty good relationship with my in-laws, mostly, minus a few hiccups, and of course their are my kids, but as for that, well, I can't think of any. I don't know why, I mean I can guess, I had a pretty complicated childhood. My 3 most important relationships with women, my mom, my sister and my grandmother, all who were responsible at least part of the time, in raising me, were not good relationships. My mom and sister both suffer from a mental illness and my grandmother for many years was a raging, nasty, vicious, alcoholic(it's suspected that she had the same mental illness but was self medicating for many years with alcohol). I just never learned to relate to women. It continued into teenage years and I had mostly guy friends, and very few, if any girlfriends, and most of those were short in duration. I guess I just don't get women, most are snarky, talk behind your back, are often jealous, not at all supportive, and even if on the surface they seem like they are fine, they often don't.

I really tried to reach out to women after I had kids. I thought I had a lot more in common with them now that I had had children. I found that those relationships were often just like high school, just instead of competitive for guys or grades, it was over whose kids are smarter/better. At times I've thought I found friends that I could relate to, but it seems that I'm just as unsuccessful there too.

I'm also not really sure how to change this pattern and I find it disturbing. I feel like a good person, an Ok friend. I try to be supportive, and caring, and not judgmental and I honestly am not sure what I did wrong. I'm trying to take the time to examine it and see what I can take from it but honestly except for not wanting to have to justify my life and my decisions and not wanting to feel like I'm an idiot, I'm not sure what I could have done differently this time. I didn't want to get hurt anymore and I was frankly sick of talking to myself. It felt really obvious to me that I wasn't wanted around, or at least if the conversation included any discussions of Steph or hockey, so I'm not sure what I could have done differently. It's obviously something in me and I need to figure it out. I also hate saying it's my "childhood" because that it such a co-of and I am an adult. On the other hand I do often feel and have felt in the past that I lack certain social skills. For a long time I had no clue what normal was and have often used the outside world as a barometer of that. I've gotten better over time but I do know that sometimes I value other peoples opinions more than my own.

Anyway it made me really thankful I have boys!! I can't imagine navigating a mother/daughter relationship. I miss the idea of barbies, ballet, pigtails and make up but I think I would be horrible at it so I'm thankful for my boys.

It's also weird that without the BB's how out of touch with the world as a whole that I feel. I've started reading our local papers website but still I feel out of touch. I've been reading blogs, which help, but it's not the same....Still I think I need a break from them and that part has been good.

Last night was our weekly BBQ with Steph. This week she brought Kabob's and I did a Greek pasta salad, deviled eggs, green beans and more pound cake w/strawberries for dessert. Next week I think we are going to go back to just plain hamburgers/hot dogs. One thing I learned, grilled green beans are YUMMY!!!

Hockey is almost over. They won their last regular game of the season last Saturday, 5-0, but lost the first playoff game the next night. They have a playoff game on Saturday, if they win, they play some more, if they lose they are out. Still the won and/or tied their last 6 games and they think next season they will be bumped up another league. DH was very excited about that! But after that is the summer season so to say it's almost over isn't really true.

D got my cold, which while it's short, is nasty and he spent Tuesday home from school. He spent most of the morning still in bed so he was really sick. We are in the home stretch as far as school goes though and he is so looking forward to the summer(unlike G who has cried every day that he is going to miss school, his speech teacher and his friends). Just the rest of this week, and one and half days next week and we are done.

I've started to make plans with Mary for us to come over and swim this summer but it won't be as much as last summer. Since her retirement is based on her last 5 years of working she is doing what she can to teach a little more so this summer she will be teaching summer school. It's only 1/2 days and she will be home by noon. I also think being alone is still hard, especially when you have the *whole* day free, so I think this will be good for her. We will be going over on Thursday(minus rain) around 1pm and will swim until dinner. There will also be a little break while she goes to Alaska with her sister and a week when she visits her son in New Mexico. I'm still really grateful for last summer though. She took what could have been a very stressful time and gave us all something to look forward to and the free meals didn't hurt either!

I haven't been stitching much, mainly because I'm sick of FG and am fighting the urge to start my new project. I'm so close to being done, just her face, arms, hair and beads. I also really need to sit down and figure out if the beads I bought will work. I just can't find the energy to do that. I also need to pick a June ornament but nothing is screaming for me to stitch it and I went through them yesterday. The urge will come back I'm sure.

Of course it didn't help that yesterday I took a decogestant for a nasty sinus headache. In a effort to find one that works and is not behind the counter I bought something different. It was a teeny, tiny little white pill that just zonked me out yesterday. I felt funky, like my head wasn't attatched to my body, and even though it was raining yesterday afternoon I didn't dare try to drive G to the bus stop. I had to lay down for a little while in the afternoon. While I slept some, it wasn't restful and I had a hard time shaking the "zoned out" feeling. I won't be taking those again.

They are going to repeat the Ellen show with Jason on it today. I missed it the first time around so I'm looking forward to catching it today. He is doing "Geek in Pink" and I put a note by the TV to remind me to watch. She comes on at 4pm in my neck of the woods!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Feeling better!!

Not only has the weather broken but so did my cold. I woke up this morning being able to breathe and except for just a little congestion I'm feeling much better. It's only going to be in the 70's for the next few days and I'm thankful for that. That heat was just horrible!

Last night turned out to be a lot of fun and I'm glad that DH once again insisted that we not cancel. We got some rain, but it stopped long enough to get the grill going. I built a really good fire too. We did Brautwurst this week and I'm now out of ideas to grill, it seems like we've cooked all the basics so I don't know what I'm going to do next week.

I felt bad for Steph though. She had a room mate and their lease is until the end of June. Both her and her room mate agreed they would go their separate ways but that they would stick it out to the end even though Steph could move in here anytime. Steph went to her Dad's house over the weekend, came home late Monday night to find her room mate had moved out over the weekend. She left no fowarding address, no money and now Steph is on the hook for all of the last month's rent, with basically no notice. All the utilities are in her room mates name so she isn't sure if she will have lights to the end of the month. What a cruddy thing to do!!